Reflect and Revise

Being in a relationship with another human being is difficult. Exponentially more so when it is a romantic one.

The first and most important part of that relationship is the presence of love. Not love in the sense that you have found 'the one', but love in the sense that you find your new partner to be wonderfully created, and someone worthy of your admiration and respect.

Men have it hard. We're told from an early age that our emotions and feelings stem from internal weakness and they need to be controlled and suppressed. This is not how you love another person, you love others by being willing to share your life with them, and being willing to listen to the victories and struggles of the other, and to empathize alongside them in their journey.

Proverbs 31 is used frequently in lady small groups because it devotes most of its word space to being a good woman in a relationship, specifically as a wife, but the lessons crossover to dating in my opinion.

Men are addressed three times in Proverbs 31

11. Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

23. Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

28-29. Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

As men we are instructed to

1. Trust the women we're in a relationship with,

2. Be worthy of their respect and love by being respected in our own community, and

3. We need to praise and encourage the women in our lives.

Christian men know very well the verses in the New Testament where women are asked to serve their husbands. But we easily forget that we're meant to love the woman in our life as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He sacrificed everything he had for it, he loved it so much that he gave his life for its gain. That's huge.

But at the end of the day, we're all human and imperfect. We cannot love perfectly as God does. Our efforts to love each other will at times fail. The only way to make a relationship last is to 'truly, truly, truly love each other' according to John Wooden. Coach Wooden also said 'There are many things that are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer.'

Without seeking God's love and guidance as a team, our efforts will ultimately fail.

If we as men are not actively seeking to love Christ in our daily lives, then we are not putting forth our best effort to love in our romantic relationships.

But, if we do seek Christ and take into our actions His guidance, we can live and love abundantly.



1. Love God. Seek His love, blessings, and guidance through prayer, meditation, and biblical study.
2. Love her. We can show this by being open and honest, as well as being willing to listen and empathize.
3. Trust her.
4. Try to make yourself worthy of her love... financially, physically, spiritually, and mentally... 'success(worthiness) comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming', to once again quote John Wooden.
5. Be encouraging and praise the woman in your life.

PS: Since I quoted John Wooden so much I would be remiss if I omitted his definition of love...

Love means many things. It means giving. It means sharing. It means forgiving. It means understanding. It means being patient. It means learning. And you must always consider the other side, the other person. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. – John Wooden

Doc King.

Yet, in spite of these spectacular strides in science and technology, and still unlimited ones to come, something basic is missing. There is a sort of poverty of the spirit which stands in glaring contrast to our scientific and technological abundance. The richer we have become materially, the poorer we have become morally and spiritually. We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Dr. King had a way of saying things then, that remain important through time. His words are constant, whether they are concerning the civil rights movement, the war in Vietnam, or a just another Sunday sermon.

Dr. King was the last black man to win the Nobel Peace Prize. I was reminded of that when President Obama won his. That is why I have been reading and listening to his words lately, they rang of peace and love. His words rang of justice and equality. His words lead a nation through one of its darkest times.

Maybe his words can be heard again today. Let's live together as brothers, love your neighbor more than your Mac book. Let go of the materialism and impatience in our society, culture and especially our generation. Thanks Dr. King for your wise words.

I'm such a Jew

Today at sundown is Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement. I plan to observe the Jewish holiday.

I like the idea of a holiday set aside strictly for atoning for sins, and untainted by the commercialization so prevalent in traditional Christian holidays.

My girlfriend had a good point, she said we do have that holiday, it's Easter. Easter is three days thanking Jesus for his sacrifice and asking for forgiveness for ours sins, and maybe even asking to help us in our daily walk if you're feeling super religious that particular weekend.

Yom Kippur is 25 hours of fasting, recognizing our broken-ness, and repenting for it all. Only thing is I have a leg up on the Jews because I have a guy I can directly talk to and seek forgiveness from, YAHWEH hooked me up in that sense. Paul tells us in Acts 27:9-10 that he also celebrated this high holiday by fasting.

It's not something that every Christian should have to do. I think the best consensus that me and my girlfriend came to is this, as Christians we should seek time to fast, repent, and ask for help in our faithfulness. For me, I like the idea of tradition in the old covenant by the Day of Atonement, for others it may just be some random weekend.

The important thing is, take some time out of your life to think about the sacrifice that has gone into salvation, the thankfulness we owe to God, and to seek guidance in our everyday life.

My First Real Blog Post

Okay, so I'm doing this bible-in-a-year reading. It's in Chronological order, so it follows biblical events as they happen. (www.oneyearbibleonline.com)


I totally dislike these read the bible-in-a-year deals. Normally I like guiding myself, opening randomly, or going to where another person/book I'm reading directs me. The bible-in-a-years normally last about 1-2 weeks for me tops. This one is kind of different, and interesting, since it follows an order and you aren't taking a literary shotgun to the bible and cherry-picking what some random guy said you should read in what order, God made this order of events, so it might be worth reading.

God, as he always does, showed me something cool. I had to read one of the parts that you normally skip when reading through the bible, the stuff you already know (i.e. Ten Commandments, Jesus' lineage, the story of Creation). I was reading Genesis 1:14-17...

...14And God said, Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be signs and tokens [of God's provident care], and [to mark] seasons, days, and years,¹⁵And let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light upon the earth. And it was so.¹⁶And God made the two great lights--the greater light (the sun) to rule the day and the lesser light (the moon) to rule the night. He also made the stars.¹⁷And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth... (Amplified Bible)

... And here is what I got out of it. God created the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars. It's ordinary, you learned it in Sunday School, come on get to the real scripture right? But the extraordinary thing is, God created some big, burning, complex stuff and the purpose behind it was the existence and survival of myself and those loved ones and less-loved ones around me (I'm a Christian person, not a perfect one).

The stars were what dictated important things to people with brains, hearts, emotions, blood, fears, and realities just like us. They showed us direction on the darkest nights. They were the foreshadowers of the seasons so we knew when to plant certain things so we wouldn't starve. They were how we found our way around when we were fishing out at night. They were the source of light when the moon wasn't bright.

The importance of this scripture is the not the grandness or the usefulness, but the lostness. I look at the stars when I go hiking, I think, "Aw, that's pretty", hike back to my truck and plug in my Ipod, text my girlfriend, and drive home to watch 24 hour cable news, comedy, music videos, reality TV, food being cooked, whatever. I don't need the stars, nobody today needs those stars. It's sad to see such a useful, wonderful, creation so full of intent just fall to the wayside. Something that we relied on for food and direction, is now something pretty we admire one weekend a month if you're lucky.

Our lives are more "convienient" now, I'm sure there are gardening and compass apps for the Iphone. The scripture I normally overlook, overwhelmed me with the feeling that every thing that modern society and culture is telling me is inherently false, wrong, and not what was intended. I was meant to rely on God and what he created. Instead everyday we are told to rely on our materialism, when none of that leads to a simple God-centered life. What does it take to live like Noah and Abraham, Paul and Jesus. I'm not about to go walk off into the wilderness and live off the land, but how can I live closer to God, how can I not worship the "I need more stuff, and better stuff" idols that are so prevelant in my life, and everyone's life?