Ultimate.

2011 has been riddled with tragedy. On January 8th we in Tucson saw 6 people killed outside of a Safeway. This included Christina Taylor-Green and Judge John Roll, two amazing Christian people whose families I've come to know and love.

Then in May 27 I took a shot to the gut. My friend Tyler passed away in a car accident. We'd known each other at varying levels of depth since we were both Juniors in high school, 2003-04, him at Mountain View in Marana, and me at Flowing Wells in Tucson.

In college we grew closer and would hang out more frequently during and after U-Life, or Young Life College. And then in 2008 we were dating twin sisters, I got to know him intimately well. I was one of the first people he talked to before proposing to his girlfriend, and one of the people he asked for advice from on how to ask her father for his blessing. The year before his death we were in Disneyland together, and on the beach in San Diego, sharing a hotel room at both.

Then me and my half of the twin sisters broke up, and it was ugly. Actually 'Reflect and Revise' were the lessons learned in the aftermath of this epicly bad break-up. It got to such a point that me and Tyler severed ties, and the last thing I said to him was this:

"this whole situation is weird and i don't really like the awkwardness, i love you and nicole, your family and her family. I want to get to the bottom of whatever is going on and try and mend some broken friendships if it's possible. If you don't think it is at all possible, just ignore this and we'll go on with our lives." December 23, 2010

He ignored it, and I went on with my life. My bitterness grew after that. Sometime in February he waved from across the room at church when he saw me, and I turned away to continue a conversation. After December 23, 2010 I never texted, facebooked, called, or said one word to Tyler because I valued my pride more than pursuing a friend.

Since May 27, I've pursued friendship with my former girlfriend and her twin sister. I can now say that we are friends. But from now on, I will always remember the last thing Tyler saw from me was turning my head.

The lessons 2011 has taught me are these:

1. Identify yourself in Christ, you are not your relationships, intellect, athleticism, or anything that is temporary and of this world. If your identity is not based in Christ, then you are only buying time with the gifts you've been given for as long as they may last, and we have no guarantees on this life's longevity.
2. While you are blessed with this time, use it to build people up. Never let insignificant bitterness cloud your judgment. The greatest commandment is to Love God and Love Others. Not love others who are really cool, really nice, really funny, easy to get along with. We are made to love others, no exceptions.